What is a man?

I'm not the type of person who throws around the term "favorite" lightly. My interests are in a constant state of flux, and today's treasure could very well end up in the day after tommorow's discard pile.

There are a few constants, though, and if I was forced at knifepoint to pick a "favorite videogame of all time," the honor would go to Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Even a decade after its release, the game's mix of classic 2D platform action/exploration and RPG elements can keep me captivated for hours at a stretch. Everytime Halloween season comes around, I set aside whatever overhyped next-gen title I'm playing at the moment and dedicate myself to some old-school monster whacking at its finest.

The game isn't entirely flawless, though. Konami did a lackluster job in localizing the title for English-speaking audiences, which is most painfully apparent in the voiceovers which accompany SOTN's big dramatic moments.

The worst of the lot occurs during the prologue mini-level, which recaps Richter Belmont's confrontation with Dracula at the end of Dracula X, the previous entry into the series. What was supposed to convey high drama and theological commentary, ended up sounding like outtakes from the worst LARP session ever.

With no small amount of goading from fellow Castlevania fan Chris Sims, I decided to deliver my own hyper-localization of the dialogue exchange in honor of Halloween.

Townsylvania!