What is a man?

I'm not the type of person who throws around the term "favorite" lightly. My interests are in a constant state of flux, and today's treasure could very well end up in the day after tommorow's discard pile.

There are a few constants, though, and if I was forced at knifepoint to pick a "favorite videogame of all time," the honor would go to Castlevania: Symphony of the Night. Even a decade after its release, the game's mix of classic 2D platform action/exploration and RPG elements can keep me captivated for hours at a stretch. Everytime Halloween season comes around, I set aside whatever overhyped next-gen title I'm playing at the moment and dedicate myself to some old-school monster whacking at its finest.

The game isn't entirely flawless, though. Konami did a lackluster job in localizing the title for English-speaking audiences, which is most painfully apparent in the voiceovers which accompany SOTN's big dramatic moments.

The worst of the lot occurs during the prologue mini-level, which recaps Richter Belmont's confrontation with Dracula at the end of Dracula X, the previous entry into the series. What was supposed to convey high drama and theological commentary, ended up sounding like outtakes from the worst LARP session ever.

With no small amount of goading from fellow Castlevania fan Chris Sims, I decided to deliver my own hyper-localization of the dialogue exchange in honor of Halloween.

Townsylvania!

Threat or Menace?

If you follow my other blog on a regular basis, you might have noticed that I tend to make a lot of references, directly or indirectly, to comic books. With pronounced WOO-BIN, my intentions were to adhere to a clearly defined focus -- regional matters, provincial observations, and, of course, my occasionally impenetrable Boston accent -- instead of the stream of consciousness meanderings that characterize Armagideon Time.

Comics, an easy fallback topic and frequent crutch, were not to be featured here unless they were specifically germane to the subject at hand...such as fulfilling a request by one Michael Sterling of Ventura County, California. "Mikester" asked to hear my dulcet tones applied to the opening captions of 1990's Spider-Man #1, the Todd McFarlane production that proved that being a fan-favorite artist is no substitution for actual writing skills.

Comics fans being comics fans, however, the comic sold a shitload of copies and played no small part in instigating the "hot" artist-driven boom (and catastrophic bust) cycle of the 1990s comics market. "ADVANTAGEOUS," indeed.

So here you go, my dramatic recitation of Todd McFarlane's unforgettable contribution to literature....

Advantageous!

...and if my slapdash effort fails to sate your appetite, here's a Kevin Church remix that oozes with the kind of ambiance that you just don't get with a Karaoke Revolution pack-in USB headset and a freeware audio editing program.

Advantageous Remix!

Kevin also put his unparalled talents to use in whipping up this rave-tastic repurposing of my inaugural audio sample.

Gee Scarlett (Remix)

I couldn't ask for better internet friends.